A wise individual once said,
"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
That wise individual was Winnie the Pooh and I think he may be onto something there. I have a confession to make: my name is Sarah-Jane, and I'm an introvert. Those who know me - well, at all - would be the first to tell you this. So when I first felt the call to sign up for the Peace Corps, sure the travel and adventure sounded great to this wanderlust heart but once reality sank in, I kind of became a bit terrified.
The way PC works, they wanna cover the most ground they possibly can. So they send a group of volunteers, and they spread them out good! There are a lot of villages to reach and not a lot of people to reach them so it is quite rare to be in a village with another PC volunteer of your same sector. Sometimes if you're lucky, there might be someone from another sector close by depending on your region, but I hear even this might be a rarity. So what does this mean exactly? You meet a great group of people at a Staging event in Washington DC (this will take place on May 13 for me). You and your "new family" leave the country the following day together and you arrive in your new home country together. You spend the next three months going through training boot camp together. And at the end of those three months it's "sayonara muchachos" where you are then scattered like little ants all over the great country of Ecuador (which is, by the way, about the size of Colorado). So you could be several hours from the closest volunteer, perhaps even the closest American.
I have done my fair share of traveling in my short quarter of a life, some experiences of which were even by myself. Experiencing different cultures for a brief period of time isn't horrible (pretty exciting actually). But coming from a girl who has more or less lived in the same place her entire life, this new place I will learn to call home - all by myself! - is slightly terrifying to me! I'll be the first to tell you I'm typically not one to just walk up to someone, voluntarily shake their hand, and become instant best friends upon first meet. I'm the girl who is quite content to stay at her seat waiting for people to come to me to shake my hand during the fellowship portion at church. The girl who would rather sit quietly in the background observing than be the social butterfly. The girl who's voice doesn't exactly command a room upon entry.
And you want me to live in a country I've never been to, with people I've never seen or met, in a culture I don't know, with a language I barely speak ALL BY MYSELF?!? Cue nervous gulp!
And yet this is what it takes. This is the nature of the calling. I can no longer sit in my corner in the forest. I have to go to them! I have to be the feet that brings the good news and the help that these people so desperately seek.
It's encouraging to know that I'm not the first to face fear of an unknown land or fear of speaking to these people or fear of being alone. Far from it! Some of the OT greats struggled major with fear. But God in His loving and reassuring way pretty much told them to knock it off because He is so much bigger than anything we could be scared of. God told Moses, "I, even I, will be with your mouth and [Aaron's] mouth, and I will teach you what you are to do." (Ex. 4.15) And to Joshua, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Jsh 1.9) I mean, that's good enough for me! The unknown, the length of stay, the length of absence from my familiar life, the potential - and almost guaranteed - loneliness, the communication block, the hundreds of "comfort zoneless" moments, the learning period, the growing period, the navigating on my own...all terrifying! I would be lying to say it's not. But I serve a God who wants to be with me wherever I go.
So I can't stay. I have to go to them. And go to them, I shall.
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