The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself

A wise individual once said,

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."

That wise individual was Winnie the Pooh and I think he may be onto something there. I have a confession to make: my name is Sarah-Jane, and I'm an introvert. Those who know me - well, at all - would be the first to tell you this. So when I first felt the call to sign up for the Peace Corps, sure the travel and adventure sounded great to this wanderlust heart but once reality sank in, I kind of became a bit terrified. 

The way PC works, they wanna cover the most ground they possibly can. So they send a group of volunteers, and they spread them out good! There are a lot of villages to reach and not a lot of people to reach them so it is quite rare to be in a village with another PC volunteer of your same sector. Sometimes if you're lucky, there might be someone from another sector close by depending on your region, but I hear even this might be a rarity. So what does this mean exactly? You meet a great group of people at a Staging event in Washington DC (this will take place on May 13 for me). You and your "new family" leave the country the following day together and you arrive in your new home country together. You spend the next three months going through training boot camp together. And at the end of those three months it's "sayonara muchachos" where you are then scattered like little ants all over the great country of Ecuador (which is, by the way, about the size of Colorado). So you could be several hours from the closest volunteer, perhaps even the closest American.

I have done my fair share of traveling in my short quarter of a life, some experiences of which were even by myself. Experiencing different cultures for a brief period of time isn't horrible (pretty exciting actually). But coming from a girl who has more or less lived in the same place her entire life, this new place I will learn to call home - all by myself! - is slightly terrifying to me! I'll be the first to tell you I'm typically not one to just walk up to someone, voluntarily shake their hand, and become instant best friends upon first meet. I'm the girl who is quite content to stay at her seat waiting for people to come to me to shake my hand during the fellowship portion at church. The girl who would rather sit quietly in the background observing than be the social butterfly. The girl who's voice doesn't exactly command a room upon entry.

And you want me to live in a country I've never been to, with people I've never seen or met, in a culture I don't know, with a language I barely speak ALL BY MYSELF?!? Cue nervous gulp! 

And yet this is what it takes. This is the nature of the calling. I can no longer sit in my corner in the forest. I have to go to them! I have to be the feet that brings the good news and the help that these people so desperately seek.

It's encouraging to know that I'm not the first to face fear of an unknown land or fear of speaking to these people or fear of being alone. Far from it! Some of the OT greats struggled major with fear. But God in His loving and reassuring way pretty much told them to knock it off because He is so much bigger than anything we could be scared of. God told Moses, "I, even I, will be with your mouth and [Aaron's] mouth, and I will teach you what you are to do." (Ex. 4.15) And to Joshua, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Jsh 1.9) I mean, that's good enough for me! The unknown, the length of stay, the length of absence from my familiar life, the potential - and almost guaranteed - loneliness, the communication block, the hundreds of "comfort zoneless" moments, the learning period, the growing period, the navigating on my own...all terrifying! I would be lying to say it's not. But I serve a God who wants to be with me wherever I go.

So I can't stay. I have to go to them. And go to them, I shall.

The Beginning of a Beautiful Thing

When I started this journey a year ago, I don't think I ever could have imagined the response of love and support I would receive from friends and family all over this beautiful world. Sure I knew people would be happy for me, but the support, care, concern, interest, genuine curiosity, encouragement, advice, and just overall love I have received has absolutely blown me away! I am so blessed with the people God has put in my life and I'm blessed to serve this God who wants to surround me with such examples of His love! So before any other words are expressed, thank you! To those of you taking the time to read this blog, taking the time to care about me, taking the time to pray for me: a million times, thank you!!

And now this is starting to sound like an Academy Awards acceptance speech. Shall I move on?

One of the biggest questions I have received so far (and there have been plenty!) is if and when I will be starting a blog to document my experiences. I had planned to wait till right before I left but I figure, so much of my journey has already begun, why not get the ball rolling now. I will be the first to tell you, my blogging skills are a bit sub-par to say the least! I have tried 3 blogs in my short lifetime and every one of them has been a bit of a fail. I really don't mind creative writing and I certainly don't mind sharing my opinions on life! So I feel like this should be easier than it is. But I have so much to say and not a lot of time to say it so I suppose things tend to slip.

Upon talking to some friends who have recently returned from their travels abroad, they told me that they found it much more helpful to share stories and answer questions after their respective trips if they were able to share so much during. Makes sense to me. So I guess regardless of my hesitancies, here I am, sharing with you, the ins and outs of my crazy, wonderful life over the next 2.5 years. There may be times when I am only able to blog once or twice a week, once every couple of weeks, or have so much to share I blog a couple times a day (internet service permitting). So bear with me through this process, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Either way, one thing I know is this: this is la vida encantada, this is the charmed life!
 
So without further ado, the long awaited, much anticipated blog is here. Enjoy, my sweets!