Monday, May 26, 2014

Some Days You Win, Other Days You Just Suck at Life...


How does that Coldplay song go? “Nobody said it was easy”. Truer words have rarely been spoken! Don’t get me wrong, I’m having a blast in this beyond gorgeous country (pics coming soon)! And I love my team of 38 fellow trainees (aspirantes…we’re only aspiring, we’re not quite there yet). I’ve grown quite close to several of them right off the bat (I might even already have some favorites), love that I get to do life with most of them over the next 2 years, and already know I’ve made some connections I’ll have for life! Not to mention, they’re crazy supportive (I mean, we are all in this together) and are pretty good at encouraging me away from my personal doubts. It’s a great support system to have (even if most of them are crazy different than me, in so many ways).

But let’s be honest, I’m struggling! One of the hardest things for me since I’ve arrived has been language. I don’t know if I have ever felt so inadequate in my life! Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a pity party or a cry for help (other than prayers, in which case, feel free to wear your knees out!!). But rather this is just my life right now. I’ve been told from the beginning that PC has one of the best methods and models for language training and in some places is actually highly recommended and copied by other organizations as well. This may sound very comforting…unfortunately it’s not the only component (it’s not even the key component). The way language requirements work with PC are through a system broken up into 4 levels (beginner, intermediate, advanced, superior), with the bottom 3 levels containing 3 sublevels (low, medium, high). In order to be sworn in by the American gov’t to become a Peace Corps volunteer August 6, you must be at intermediate medium level (so that you are prepared to be at site by yourself able to completely communicate with those in your community without the need of a translator). Two years of high school Spanish and 1 year of college Spanish about 6 or 7 years ago has gotten me…beginner low. And it embarrassingly sucks! I am literally one of 2 in my class (while everyone else seems to be doing so much better) and am struggling so hard in so many aspects. There are so many words I have forgotten over the years and I am very much beginning to understand the phrase “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” on a very personal level as I can’t seem to remember anything I read in my diccionario over and over and over. Honestly it’s a bit discouraging and quite terrifying that I can’t progress. I’m told to give it time that it’s only [the end of] week one. But unfortunately I’m a bit of a “results now” kind of person. I really hope what they’re saying is right, that it will come. I just hope this memory thing kicks into gear and sometime very soon!! I’m sure my nothing-but-Spanish-speaking Host Family agrees!

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